Sunday, October 08, 2006

instant executions

Many bloggers have their signature posts. Marginal Revolution have their "markets in everything", Jane Galt has her "department of awful statistics" and Tim Worstall has his Brit Blog Roundup. I've toyed with the idea of "instant death penalty offences", but my list of offences has grown slowly for fear of offending people and ending on death row myself. The idea comes from my dad who wants to shoot anybody found in possession of a gun (he was trying to be funny). Pointing out that pro wrestling (the WWF type) is fake and that getting a job in London helps you cope with the high prices are the offences on the top of my list.

I've finally got a new one. Any tennis player who describes Roger Federer?s play as "scary" should be summarily executed. Tim Henman is the most recent offender:
It's difficult to hurt him as he's got so many strengths and so few weaknesses and, the scary thing is, he's still improving.
This is about the tenth time this year that one of his opponents has said something like this. The first player who describes playing Federer as depressing; or something like that, should get a prize.


cristi said...

I always go on to people about instant death penalty. I'll post again as i remeber more offences, but these are a few on my list.

1) people who throw their cigarettes out a moving car/into the toilet, or onto the ground

2) the entire cast of "Scandal"

3) people responsible for bad adverts ('vanish' and 'harpic' come to mind). I know you struggled to define great art, how good are you at defining bad advertising?

4) people who abuse people in the service indusrty, just because it's easy and the customer is always right.

5) people who let their untrained dogs off the leash and idly watch as the dog attacks people/other animals.

stuart said...

I was thinking about advertising recently. I was able to bring one of those razor sharp tools from the PGCE to bear on it.

Adverts in the same genre are similar even down to production quirks (those harpic type adds often deliberately don't synchronise the dialogue with lips movement)

The style instantly tells us, "its toilet cleaners!!" without actually saying anything. It?s a time saver. That time saving is more valuable than a better add which lets people forget what the product is.

cristi said...

thats aweful

there is a yoghart ad that doesn't synch the words and lips movements (acti via "with acti regularis") two things piss me off about that add.

1) they have a white women made to look like a. asian chick (really shoddy job)

2) they must have coined the name "acti regularis" for the special bacteria. they make the name seem scienctific and important by making english words sound latin.

this brings me onto another pet peave, worthy of death penalty. Pseudo science. People who make wishy washy concepts sound plausable and sciencetifically based, drive me nuts. I think it irritates me, because the average guy on the street can't tell when they are hearing something scientifically sound or not. people get duped (my dad being a prime example) all the time.