HAVANA, CUBA–Inspired by the hit CBS show Survivor, Cuba's 11 million citizens are participating in their own version of the popular island-survival game. "I hope very much to make it to next week," said contestant Livan Ordonez, eating a rat as part of a "Starvation-Immunity Challenge" during last Wednesday's episode. "If I do not survive, who will provide for the Ordonez Tribe?" Under the somewhat altered rules for Cuban Survivor, contestants who fail to remain on the island are declared the winnersThis isn't funny to those people who still believe that Cuba is a socialist utopia.
Update: Since I clearly have nothing better to do (like Christmas shopping), here are some more articles from the Onion:
- Mars Rover Beginning To Hate Mars
- MacArthur Genius Grant Goes Right Up Recipient's Nose
- Caltech Physicists Successfully Split The Bill
- Customer's Attempt To Complain To Manager Thwarted By Employee. This was part of my job description when I had a job.
- Project Manager Leaves Suicide PowerPoint Presentation
- Study: Alligators Dangerous No Matter How Drunk You Are
- First Draft Of Paper Inadvertently Becomes Final Draft
- Dog Experiences Best Day Of His Life For 400th Consecutive Day
Family dog Loki experienced the best day of his life for the 400th straight day Monday, the black Labrador retriever reported. "I got to go outside! I got to sniff the bush!" Loki said, wagging excitedly. "I saw a squirrel and I barked at it and it ran up the tree! Then I came back inside, and the smoky-smelling tall man let me have a little piece of bacon and then I drank from the toilet!" Loki will experience the best day of his life once again tomorrow, when he digs a hole, chews on a slipper, and almost catches his tail.